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<title>The Devil’s Dictionary: V</title>
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<h1>V</h1>
<p class="entry"><span class="def">valor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler’s hope.</p>
<p>“Why have you halted?” roared the commander of a division and Chickamauga, who had ordered a
charge; “move forward, sir, at once.”</p>
<p>“General,” said the commander of the delinquent brigade, “I am persuaded that any further
display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.”</p>
<p class="entry"><span class="def">vanity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.</p>
<div class="poem">
<p class="poetry">They say that hens do cackle loudest when<br />
There’s nothing vital in the eggs they’ve laid;<br />
And there are hens, professing to have made<br />
A study of mankind, who say that men<br />
Whose business ‘tis to drive the tongue or pen<br />
Make the most clamorous fanfaronade<br />
O’er their most worthless work; and I’m afraid<br />
They’re not entirely different from the hen.<br />
Lo! the drum-major in his coat of gold,<br />
His blazing breeches and high-towering cap—<br />
Imperiously pompous, grandly bold,<br />
Grim, resolute, an awe-inspiring chap!<br />
Who’d think this gorgeous creature’s only virtue Is that in
battle he will never hurt you?</p>
<p class="citeauth">Hannibal Hunsiker</p>
</div>
<p class="entry"><span class="def">virtues</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span>pl. Certain
abstentions.</p>
<p class="entry"><span class="def">vituperation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Saite,
as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.</p>
<p class="entry"><span class="def">vote</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a
wreck of his country.</p>
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