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authorCharles.Forsyth <devnull@localhost>2006-12-22 20:52:35 +0000
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+<?xml version="1.0"?>
+<!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN"
+ "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" />
+<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" />
+<title>The Devil&#8217;s Dictionary: M</title>
+</head>
+<body lang="en-US">
+
+
+<h1>M</h1>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mace</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A staff
+of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its
+original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">machination</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+method employed by one’s opponents in baffling one’s open and honorable efforts
+to do the right thing.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">So plain the advantages of machination</p>
+<p class="poetry">It constitutes a moral obligation,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And honest wolves who think upon’t with loathing</p>
+<p class="poetry">Feel bound to don the sheep’s deceptive clothing.</p>
+<p class="poetry">So prospers still the diplomatic art,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And Satan bows, with hand upon his heart.</p>
+<p class="citeauth">R. S. K.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">macrobian</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
+forgotten of the gods and living to a great age. History is abundantly supplied
+with examples, from Methuselah to Old Parr, but some notable instances of
+longevity are less well known. A Calabrian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753,
+lived so long that he had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal
+peace. Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he
+could remember a time when he did not deserve hanging. In 1566 a linen draper
+of Bristol, England, declared that he had lived five hundred years, and that in
+all that time he had never told a lie. There are instances of longevity
+(<i>macrobiosis</i>) in our own country. Senator Chauncey Depew is old enough to
+know better. The editor of <i>The American</i>,
+a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes back to the time when he
+was a rascal, but not to the fact. The President of the United States was born
+so long ago that many of the friends of his youth have risen to high political
+and military preferment without the assistance of personal merit. The verses
+following were written by a macrobian:</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">When I was young the world was fair</p>
+<p class="poetry">And amiable and sunny.</p>
+<p class="poetry">A brightness was in all the air,</p>
+<p class="poetry">In all the waters, honey.</p>
+<p class="poetry">The jokes were fine and funny,</p>
+<p class="poetry">The statesmen honest in their views,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And in their lives, as well,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And when you heard a bit of news</p>
+<p class="poetry">‘Twas true enough to tell.</p>
+<p class="poetry">Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Nor women “generally speaking.”</p>
+<p class="poetry">The Summer then was long indeed:</p>
+<p class="poetry">It lasted one whole season!</p>
+<p class="poetry">The sparkling Winter gave no heed</p>
+<p class="poetry">When ordered by Unreason</p>
+<p class="poetry">To bring the early peas on.</p>
+<p class="poetry">Now, where the dickens is the sense</p>
+<p class="poetry"> In calling that a year</p>
+<p class="poetry">Which does no more than just commence</p>
+<p class="poetry">Before the end is near?</p>
+<p class="poetry">When I was young the year extended</p>
+<p class="poetry">From month to month until it ended.</p>
+<p class="poetry">I know not why the world has changed</p>
+<p class="poetry">To something dark and dreary,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And everything is now arranged</p>
+<p class="poetry">To make a fellow weary.</p>
+<p class="poetry">The Weather Man—I fear he</p>
+<p class="poetry">Has much to do with it, for, sure,</p>
+<p class="poetry">The air is not the same:</p>
+<p class="poetry">It chokes you when it is impure,</p>
+<p class="poetry">When pure it makes you lame.</p>
+<p class="poetry">With windows closed you are asthmatic;</p>
+<p class="poetry">Open, neuralgic or sciatic.</p>
+<p class="poetry">Well, I suppose this new regime</p>
+<p class="poetry">Of dun degeneration</p>
+<p class="poetry">Seems eviler than it would seem</p>
+<p class="poetry">To a better observation,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And has for compensation</p>
+<p class="poetry">Some blessings in a deep disguise</p>
+<p class="poetry">Which mortal sight has failed</p>
+<p class="poetry">To pierce, although to angels’ eyes</p>
+<p class="poetry">They’re visible unveiled.</p>
+<p class="poetry">If Age is such a boon, good land!</p>
+<p class="poetry">He’s costumed by a master hand!</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Venable Strigg</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mad</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Affected
+with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of
+thought, speech and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves;
+at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are
+pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For
+illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no firmer in the
+faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any madhouse in the land; yet for
+aught he knows to the contrary, instead of the lofty occupation that seems to
+him to be engaging his powers he may really be beating his hands against the
+window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent
+delight of many thoughtless spectators.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">Magdalene</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found out. This definition of the
+word has the authority of ignorance, Mary of Magdala being another person than
+the penitent woman mentioned by St. Luke. It has also the official sanction of
+the governments of Great Britain and the United States. In England the word is
+pronounced Maudlin, whence maudlin, adjective, unpleasantly sentimental. With
+their Maudlin for Magdalene, and their Bedlam for Bethlehem, the English may
+justly boast themselves the greatest of revisers.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">magic</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An art
+of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same
+high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">magnet</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Something
+acted upon by magnetism.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">magnetism</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Something
+acting upon a magnet.</p>
+
+<p class="indentpara">The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand
+eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light,
+to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">magnificient</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Having
+a grandeur or splendor superior to that to which the spectator is accustomed,
+as the ears of an ass, to a rabbit, or the glory of a glowworm, to a maggot.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">magnitude</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Size.
+Magnitude being purely relative, nothing is large and nothing small. If
+everything in the universe were increased in bulk one thousand diameters
+nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain
+unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been. To an
+understanding familiar with the relativity of magnitude and distance the spaces
+and masses of the astronomer would be no more impressive than those of the
+microscopist. For anything we know to the contrary, the visible universe may be
+a small part of an atom, with its component ions, floating in the life- fluid
+(luminiferous ether) of some animal. Possibly the wee creatures peopling the
+corpuscles of our own blood are overcome with the proper emotion when
+contemplating the unthinkable distance from one of these to another.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">magpie</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A bird
+whose thievish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">maiden</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A young
+person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and views that madden to
+crime. The genus has a wide geographical distribution, being found wherever
+sought and deplored wherever found. The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to
+the eye, nor (without her piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though
+in respect to comeliness distinctly inferior to the rainbow, and, with regard
+to the part of her that is audible, bleating out of the field by the
+canary—which, also, is more portable.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">A lovelorn maiden she sat and sang—</p>
+<p class="poetry">This quaint, sweet song sang she;</p>
+<p class="poetry">“It’s O for a youth with a football bang</p>
+<p class="poetry">And a muscle fair to see!</p>
+<p class="poetry">The Captain he</p>
+<p class="poetry">Of a team to be!</p>
+<p class="poetry">On the gridiron he shall shine,</p>
+<p class="poetry">A monarch by right divine,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And never to roast on it—me!”</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Opoline Jones</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">majesty</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent
+Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of
+the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.</p>
+
+<p id="male" class="entry"><span class="def">male</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A member
+of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly
+known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers
+and bad providers.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">malefactor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+chief factor in the progress of the human race.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">malthusian</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Pertaining
+to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting
+population, but found that it could not be done by talking. One of the most
+practical exponents of the Malthusian idea was Herod of Judea, though all the
+famous soldiers have been of the same way of thinking.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mammalia</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span>pl. A
+family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their
+young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">Mammon</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The god
+of the world’s leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">He swore that all other religions were</p>
+<p class="poetry">gammon, And wore out his knees in the worship of Mammon.</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Jared Oopf</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">man</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An animal
+so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what
+he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other
+animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent
+rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earh and Canada.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">When the world was young and Man was new,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And everything was pleasant,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Distinctions Nature never drew</p>
+<p class="poetry">‘Mongst kings and priest and peasant.</p>
+<p class="poetry">We’re not that way at present,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Save here in this Republic, where</p>
+<p class="poetry">We have that old regime,</p>
+<p class="poetry">For all are kings, however bare</p>
+<p class="poetry">Their backs, howe’er extreme</p>
+<p class="poetry">Their hunger. And, indeed, each has a voice</p>
+<p class="poetry">To accept the tyrant of his party’s choice.</p>
+<p class="poetry">A citizen who would not vote,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And, therefore, was detested,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Was one day with a tarry coat</p>
+<p class="poetry">(With feathers backed and breasted)</p>
+<p class="poetry">By patriots invested.</p>
+<p class="poetry">“It is your duty,” cried the crowd,</p>
+<p class="poetry">“Your ballot true to cast</p>
+<p class="poetry">For the man o’ your choice.” He humbly bowed,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And explained his wicked past:</p>
+<p class="poetry">“That’s what I very gladly would have done, Dear patriots, but he has never run.”</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Apperton Duke</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">manes</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+immortal parts of dead Greeks and Romans. They were in a state of dull
+discomfort until the bodies from which they had exhaled were buried and burned;
+and they seem not to have been particularly happy afterward.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">Manicheism</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When
+Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">Manna</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A food
+miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer
+supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a
+rule, with the bodies of the original occupants.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">marriage</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
+slaves, making in all, two.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">martyr</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One who
+moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">material</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Having
+an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">Material things I know, or fell, or see;</p>
+<p class="poetry">All else is immaterial to me.</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Jamrach Holobom</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mausoleum</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+final and funniest folly of the rich.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mayonnaise</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
+of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">me,</span> <span class="pos">pro.</span> The
+objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the
+dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">meander</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> To
+proceed sinuously and aimlessly. The word is the ancient name of a river about
+one hundred and fifty miles south of Troy, which turned and twisted in the
+effort to get out of hearing when the Greeks and Trojans boasted of their prowess.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">medal</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A small
+metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less
+authentic.</p>
+
+<p class="indentpara">It is related of Bismark, who had been awarded a medal for gallantly rescuing a drowning person,
+that, being asked the meaning of the medal, he replied: “I save lives
+sometimes.” And sometimes he didn’t.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">medicine</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A stone
+flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">meekness</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Uncommon
+patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">M is for Moses,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Who slew the Egyptian.</p>
+<p class="poetry">As sweet as a rose is</p>
+<p class="poetry">The meekness of Moses.</p>
+<p class="poetry">No monument shows his</p>
+<p class="poetry">Post-mortem inscription,</p>
+<p class="poetry">But M is for Moses</p>
+<p class="poetry">Who slew the Egyptian.</p>
+<p class="citeauth"><i>The Biographical Alphabet</i></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">meerschaum</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> (Literally,
+seafoam, and by many erroneously supposed to be made of it.) A fine white clay,
+which for convenience in coloring it brown is made into tobacco pipes and smoked
+by the workmen engaged in that industry. The purpose of coloring it has not
+been disclosed by the manufacturers.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">There was a youth (you’ve heard before,</p>
+<p class="poetry">This woeful tale, may be),</p>
+<p class="poetry">Who bought a meerschaum pipe and swore</p>
+<p class="poetry">That color it would he!</p>
+<p class="poetry">He shut himself from the world away,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Nor any soul he saw.</p>
+<p class="poetry">He smoke by night, he smoked by day,</p>
+<p class="poetry">As hard as he could draw.</p>
+<p class="poetry">His dog died moaning in the wrath</p>
+<p class="poetry">Of winds that blew aloof;</p>
+<p class="poetry">The weeds were in the gravel path,</p>
+<p class="poetry">The owl was on the roof.</p>
+<p class="poetry">“He’s gone afar, he’ll come no more,”</p>
+<p class="poetry">The neighbors sadly say.</p>
+<p class="poetry">And so they batter in the door</p>
+<p class="poetry">To take his goods away.</p>
+<p class="poetry">Dead, pipe in mouth, the youngster lay,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Nut-brown in face and limb.</p>
+<p class="poetry">“That pipe’s a lovely white,” they say,</p>
+<p class="poetry">“But it has colored him!”</p>
+<p class="poetry">The moral there’s small need to sing—</p>
+<p class="poetry">‘Tis plain as day to you:</p>
+<p class="poetry">Don’t play your game on any thing</p>
+<p class="poetry">That is a gamester too.</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Martin Bulstrode</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mendacious</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Addicted to rhetoric.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">merchant</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
+engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing
+pursued is a dollar.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mercy</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+attribute beloved of detected offenders.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mesmerism</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Hypnotism
+before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">metropolis</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+stronghold of provincialism.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">millennium</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mind</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in
+the endeavor to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due
+to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with. From the Latin <i>mens</i>, a fact unknown to that honest
+shoe-seller, who, observing that his learned competitor over the way had
+displayed the motto “<i>Mens conscia recti</i>,” emblazoned his own front with the
+words “Men’s, women’s and children’s conscia recti.”</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mine</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Belonging
+to me if I can hold or seize it.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">minister</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy and officer
+sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign’s
+hostility. His principal qualification is a degree of plausible inveracity next
+below that of an ambassador.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">minor</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Less
+objectionable.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">minstrel</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Formerly
+a poet, singer or musician; now a nigger with a color less than skin deep and a
+humor more than flesh and blood can bear.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">miracle</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An act
+or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand
+of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">miscreant</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means
+unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology’s noblest
+contribution to the development of our language.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">misdemeanor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no
+claim to admittance into the best criminal society.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">By misdemeanors he essays to climb</p>
+<p class="poetry">Into the aristocracy of crime.</p>
+<p class="poetry">O, woe was him!&#8212;with manner chill and grand “Captains of industry” refused his hand, “Kings of
+finance” denied him recognition And “railway magnates” jeered his low
+condition. He robbed a bank to make himself respected.</p>
+<p class="poetry">They still rebuffed him, for he was detected.</p>
+<p class="citeauth">S. V. Hanipur</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">misericorde</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an
+unhorsed knight that he was mortal.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">misfortune</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+kind of fortune that never misses.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">miss</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The title
+with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss,
+Missis (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words
+in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other
+of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they
+miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent
+and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to
+Mh.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">molecule</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle,
+also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the
+atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. Three great scientific
+theories of the structure of the universe are the molecular, the corpuscular
+and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with Haeckel, the condensation of
+precipitation of matter from ether—whose existence is proved by the
+condensation of precipitation. The present trend of scientific thought is
+toward the theory of ions. The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and
+the atom in that it is an ion. A fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is
+doubtful if they know any more about the matter than the others.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">monad</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. (See <i>Molecule</i>.)
+According to Leibnitz, as nearly as he seems willing to be understood, the
+monad has body without bulk, and mind without manifestation—Leibnitz knows him
+by the innate power of considering. He has founded upon him a theory of the
+universe, which the creature bears without resentment, for the monad is a
+gentlmean. Small as he is, the monad contains all the powers and possibilities
+needful to his evolution into a German philosopher of the first class&#8212;
+altogether a very capable little fellow. He is not to be confounded with the
+microbe, or bacillus; by its inability to discern him, a good microscope shows
+him to be of an entirely distinct species.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">monarch</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of
+the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn. In Russia
+and the Orient the monarch has still a considerable influence in public affairs
+and in the disposition of the human head, but in western Europe political
+administration is mostly entrusted to his ministers, he being somewhat
+preoccupied with reflections relating to the status of his own head.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">monarchical government</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Government.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">Monday</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In
+Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">money</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An
+evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">monkey</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">monosyllabic</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span>
+Composed of words of one syllable, for literary babes who never tire of
+testifying their delight in the vapid compound by appropriate googoogling. The
+words are commonly Saxon—that is to say, words of a barbarous people destitute
+of ideas and incapable of any but the most elementary sentiments and emotions.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">The man who writes in Saxon</p>
+<p class="poetry">Is the man to use an ax on</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Judibras</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">monsignor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">monument</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration
+or cannot be commemorated.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">The bones of Agammemnon are a show,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And ruined is his royal monument,</p>
+<p class="poetry">but Agammemnon’s
+fame suffers no diminution in consequence. The monument custom has its <i>reductiones ad absurdum</i> in monuments “to
+the unknown dead”—that is to say, monuments to perpetuate the memory of those
+who have left no memory.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">moral</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Conforming
+to a local and mutable standard of right. </p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">Having the quality of general expediency.</p>
+<p class="poetry">It is sayd there
+be a raunge of mountaynes in the Easte, on one syde of the which certayn
+conducts are immorall, yet on the other syde they are holden in good esteeme;
+wherebye the mountayneer is much conveenyenced, for it is given to him to goe
+downe eyther way and act as it shall suite his moode, withouten offence.</p>
+<p class="citeauth"><i>Gooke’s Meditations</i></p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">more</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> The
+comparative degree of too much.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mouse</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+animal which strews its path with fainting women. As in Rome Christians were
+thrown to the lions, so centuries earlier in Otumwee, the most ancient and
+famous city of the world, female heretics were thrown to the mice. Jakak-Zotp,
+the historian, the only Otumwump whose writings have descended to us, says that
+these martyrs met their death with little dignity and much exertion. He even
+attempts to exculpate the mice (such is the malice of bigotry) by declaring
+that the unfortunate women perished, some from exhaustion, some of broken necks
+from falling over their own feet, and some from lack of restoratives. The mice,
+he avers, enjoyed the pleasures of the chase with composure. But if “Roman
+history is nine-tenths lying,” we can hardly expect a smaller proportion of
+that rhetorical figure in the annals of a people capable of so incredible
+cruelty to a lovely women; for a hard heart has a false tongue.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mousquetaire</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+long glove covering a part of the arm. Worn in New Jersey. But “mousquetaire”
+is a might poor way to spell muskeeter.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mouth</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In man,
+the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mugwump</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In
+politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of
+independence. A term of contempt.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mulatto</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+child of two races, ashamed of both.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">multitude</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of
+the statesman’s adoration. “In a multitude of consellors there is wisdom,”
+saith the proverb. If many men of equal individual wisdom are wiser than any
+one of them, it must be that they acquire the excess of wisdom by the mere act
+of getting together. Whence comes it? Obviously from nowhere—as well say that a
+range of mountains is higher than the single mountains composing it. A
+multitude is as wise as its wisest member if it obey him; if not, it is no
+wiser than its most foolish.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mummy</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as
+medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is
+handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to
+distinguish man from the lower animals.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">By means of the
+Mummy, mankind, it is said, Attests to the gods its respect for the dead. We
+plunder his tomb, be he sinner or saint, Distil him for physic and grind him
+for paint, Exhibit for money his poor, shrunken frame, And with levity flock to
+the scene of the shame.</p>
+<p class="poetry">O, tell me, ye gods, for the use of my rhyme:</p>
+<p class="poetry">For respecting the dead what’s the limit of time?</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Scopas Brune</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mustang</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of
+an English nobleman.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">myrmidon</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+follower of Achilles—particularly when he didn’t lead.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">mythology</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history,
+heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it
+invents later.</p>
+
+</body>
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