1 files changed, 118 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/lib/ebooks/devils/U.html b/lib/ebooks/devils/U.html
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..0327426f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/lib/ebooks/devils/U.html
@@ -0,0 +1,118 @@
+<?xml version="1.0"?>       
+<!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN"       
+  "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" />
+<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" />
+<title>The Devil&#8217;s Dictionary: U</title>
+</head>
+<body lang="en-US">
+
+
+<h1>U</h1>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">ubiquity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all
+times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether
+only. This important distinction between ubiquity and omnipresence was not
+clear to the mediaeval Church and there was much bloodshed about it. Certain
+Lutherans, who affirmed the presence everywhere of Christ’s body were known as
+Ubiquitarians. For this error they were doubtless damned, for Christ’s body is
+present only in the eucharist, though that sacrament may be performed in more
+than one place simultaneously. In recent times ubiquity has not always been
+understood—not even by Sir Boyle Roche, for example, who held that a man cannot
+be in two places at once unless he is a bird.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">ugliness</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">ultimatum</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In
+diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.</p>
+
+<p>Having received an ultimatum from Austria, the Turkish Ministry met to consider it.</p>
+
+<p>“O servant of the Prophet,” said the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk to the Mamoosh of the
+Invincible Army, “how many unconquerable soldiers have we in arms?”</p>
+
+<p>“Upholder of the Faith,” that dignitary replied after examining his memoranda, “they are in
+numbers as the leaves of the forest!”</p>
+
+<p>“And how many impenetrable battleships strike terror to the hearts of all Christian swine?”
+he asked the Imaum of the Ever Victorious Navy.</p>
+
+<p>“Uncle of the Full Moon,” was the reply, “deign to know that they are as the waves of the ocean,
+the sands of the desert and the stars of Heaven!”</p>
+
+<p>For eight hours the broad brow of the Sheik of the Imperial Chibouk was corrugated with
+evidences of deep thought: he was calculating the chances of war. Then, “Sons
+of angels,” he said, “the die is cast! I shall suggest to the Ulema of the
+Imperial Ear that he advise inaction. In the name of Allah, the council is adjourned.”</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">un-American</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Wicked,
+intolerable, heathenish.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">unction</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
+oiling, or greasing. The rite of extreme unction consists in touching with oil
+consecrated by a bishop several parts of the body of one engaged in dying. Marbury
+relates that after the rite had been administered to a certain wicked English
+nobleman it was discovered that the oil had not been properly consecrated and
+no other could be obtained. When informed of this the sick man said in anger: </p>
+
+<p>“Then I’ll be damned if I die!”</p>
+
+<p>“My son,” said the priest, “this is what we fear.”</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">understanding</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+cerebral secretion that enables one having it to know a house from a horse by
+the roof on the house. Its nature and laws have been exhaustively expounded by
+Locke, who rode a house, and Kant, who lived in a horse.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">His understanding was so keen<br />
+That all things which he’d felt, heard, seen,<br />
+He could interpret without fail<br />
+If he was in or out of jail.<br />
+He wrote at Inspiration’s call<br />
+Deep disquisitions on them all,<br />
+Then, pent at last in an asylum,<br />
+Performed the service to compile ‘em.<br />
+So great a writer, all men swore,<br />
+They never had not read before.</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Jorrock Wormley</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">Unitarian</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
+who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">universalist</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
+who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">urbanity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
+kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New
+York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, “I beg your pardon,” and
+it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">The owner of a powder mill<br />
+Was musing on a distant hill—<br />
+Something his mind foreboded—<br />
+When from the cloudless sky there fell<br />
+A deviled human kidney! Well,<br />
+The man’s mill had exploded.<br />
+His hat he lifted from his head;<br />
+“I beg your pardon, sir,” he said;<br />
+“I didn’t know ‘twas loaded.”</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Swatkin</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">usage</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The First
+Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and
+Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an
+industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">uxoriousness</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+perverted affection that has strayed to one’s own wife.</p>
+
+</body>    
+</html>
+\ No newline at end of file