diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'lib/ebooks/devils/N.html')
| -rw-r--r-- | lib/ebooks/devils/N.html | 130 |
1 files changed, 130 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/lib/ebooks/devils/N.html b/lib/ebooks/devils/N.html new file mode 100644 index 00000000..06a84161 --- /dev/null +++ b/lib/ebooks/devils/N.html @@ -0,0 +1,130 @@ +<?xml version="1.0"?> +<!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN" + "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" /> +<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" /> +<title>The Devil’s Dictionary: N</title> +</head> +<body lang="en-US"> + + +<h1>N</h1> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nectar</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A drink +served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is +lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a +knowledge of its chief ingredient.</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<p class="poetry">Juno drank a cup of nectar,</p> +<p class="poetry">But the draught did not affect her.</p> +<p class="poetry">Juno drank a cup of rye—</p> +<p class="poetry">Then she bad herself good-bye.</p> +<p class="citeauth">J. G.</p> +</div> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">negro</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The <i>piece de resistance</i> in the American +political problem. Representing him by the letter n, the Republicans begin to +build their equation thus: “Let n = the white man.” This, however, appears to +give an unsatisfactory solution.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">neighbor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One +whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to +make us disobedient.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nepotism</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Appointing +your grandmother to office for the good of the party.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Newtonian</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Pertaining +to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an +apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and +disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nihilist</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A +Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the +school is Tolstoi.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Nirvana</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In the +Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, +particularly to those wise enough to understand it.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nobleman</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Nature’s +provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and +suffer high life.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">noise</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A stench +in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of +civilization.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nominate</span>, <span class="pos">v.</span> To +designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable +person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nominee</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A +modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently +seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">non-combatant</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A +dead Quaker.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nonsense</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The +objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">nose</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The +extreme outpost of the face. From the circumstance that great conquerors have +great noses, Getius, whose writings antedate the age of humor, calls the nose +the organ of quell. It has been observed that one’s nose is never so happy as +when thrust into the affairs of others, from which some physiologists have +drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<p class="poetry">There’s a man with a Nose,</p> +<p class="poetry">And wherever he goes</p> +<p class="poetry">The people run from him and shout:</p> +<p class="poetry">“No cotton have we</p> +<p class="poetry">For our ears if so be</p> +<p class="poetry">He blow that interminous snout!”</p> +<p class="poetry">So the lawyers applied</p> +<p class="poetry">For injunction. “Denied,”</p> +<p class="poetry">Said the Judge: “the defendant prefixion,</p> +<p class="poetry">Whate’er it portend,</p> +<p class="poetry">Appears to transcend</p> +<p class="poetry">The bounds of this court’s jurisdiction.”</p> +<p class="citeauth">Arpad Singiny</p> +</div> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">notoriety</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The +fame of one’s competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible +and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob’s-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, +with angels ascending and descending.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">noumenon</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> That +which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the +latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be +apprehended only be a process of reasoning—which is a phenomenon. Nevertheless, +the discovery and exposition of noumena offer a rich field for what Lewes calls +“the endless variety and excitement of philosophic thought.” Hurrah (therefore) +for the noumenon!</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">novel</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A short +story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature +that the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting the +impressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in the +panorama. Unity, totality of effect, is impossible; for besides the few pages +last read all that is carried in mind is the mere plot of what has gone before. +To the romance the novel is what photography is to painting. Its distinguishing +principle, probability, corresponds to the literal actuality of the photograph +and puts it distinctly into the category of reporting; whereas the free wing of +the romancer enables him to mount to such altitudes of imagination as he may be +fitted to attain; and the first three essentials of the literary art are +imagination, imagination and imagination. The art of writing novels, such as it +was, is long dead everywhere except in Russia, where it is new. Peace to its +ashes—some of which have a large sale.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">November</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The +eleventh twelfth of a weariness.</p> + +</body> +</html>
\ No newline at end of file |
