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+<?xml version="1.0"?>       
+<!DOCTYPE package PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Package//EN"       
+  "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" />
+<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" />
+<title>The Devil&#8217;s Dictionary: K</title>
+</head>
+<body lang="en-US">
+
+
+<h1>K</h1>
+
+<p class="firstpara">K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the
+Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In
+their tongue it was called <i>Klatch</i>, which means “destroyed.” The form of the letter was originally precisely that
+of our H, but the erudite Dr. Snedeker explains that it was altered to its
+present shape to commemorate the destruction of the great temple of Jarute by
+an earthquake, <i>circa</i> 730 B.C. This building was famous for the two lofty columns of its portico, one of which was
+broken in half by the catastrophe, the other remaining intact. As the earlier
+form of the letter is supposed to have been suggested by these pillars, so, it
+is thought by the great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple and
+natural—not to say touching—means of keeping the calamity ever in the national
+memory. It is not known if the name of the letter was altered as an additional
+mnemonic, or if the name was always <i>Klatch</i> and the destruction one of nature’s pums. As each theory seems probable enough,
+I see no objection to believing both—and Dr. Snedeker arrayed himself on that side of the question.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">keep</span>, <span class="pos">v.t.</span></p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">He willed away his whole estate,</p>
+<p class="poetry">And then in death he fell asleep,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Murmuring: “Well, at any rate,</p>
+<p class="poetry">My name unblemished I shall keep.”</p>
+<p class="poetry">But when upon the tomb ‘twas wrought Whose was it?&#8212;for the dead keep naught.</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Durang Gophel Arn</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">kill</span>, <span class="pos">v.t.</span> To
+create a vacancy without nominating a successor.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">kilt</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A costume
+sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">kindness</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.</p>
+
+<p id="king" class="entry"><span class="def">king</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A male
+person commonly known in America as a “crowned head,” although he never wears a
+crown and has usually no head to speak of.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">A king, in times long, long gone by,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Said to his lazy jester:</p>
+<p class="poetry">“If I were you and you were I</p>
+<p class="poetry">My moments merrily would fly—</p>
+<p class="poetry">Nor care nor grief to pester.”</p>
+<p class="poetry">“The reason, Sire, that you would thrive,”</p>
+<p class="poetry">The fool said—“if you’ll hear it—</p>
+<p class="poetry">Is that of all the fools alive</p>
+<p class="poetry">Who own you for their sovereign, I’ve</p>
+<p class="poetry">The most forgiving spirit.”</p>
+<p class="citeauth">Oogum Bem</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">King’s Evil</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+malady that was formerly cured by the touch of the sovereign, but has now to be
+treated by the physicians. Thus ‘the most pious Edward” of England used to lay
+his royal hand upon the ailing subjects and make them whole—</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">a crowd of wretched souls</p>
+<p class="poetry">That stay his cure: their malady convinces</p>
+<p class="poetry">The great essay of art; but at his touch,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Such sanctity hath Heaven given his hand,</p>
+<p class="poetry">They presently amend,</p>
+<p class="poetry">as the “Doctor” in <i>Macbeth</i> hath it. This useful property of the </p>
+<p class="poetry">royal hand could, it appears, be transmitted along with other crown </p>
+<p class="poetry">properties; for according to “Malcolm,”</p>
+<p class="poetry">‘tis spoken To the succeeding royalty he leaves The healing benediction.</p>
+<p class="poetry">But the gift somewhere dropped out of the line of succession: the later sovereigns of
+England have not been tactual healers, and the disease once honored with the
+name “king’s evil” now bears the humbler one of “scrofula,” from <i>scrofa</i>, a sow. The date and author of the
+following epigram are known only to the author of this dictionary, but it is
+old enough to show that the jest about Scotland’s national disorder is not a
+thing of yesterday.</p>
+<p class="poetry">Ye Kynge his evill in me laye,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Wh. he of Scottlande charmed awaye.</p>
+<p class="poetry">He layde his hand on mine and sayd:</p>
+<p class="poetry">“Be gone!” Ye ill no longer stayd.</p>
+<p class="poetry">But O ye wofull plyght in wh.</p>
+<p class="poetry">I’m now y-pight: I have ye itche!</p>
+<p class="poetry">The superstitionth at maladies can be cured by royal taction is </p>
+<p class="poetry">dead, but like many a departed conviction it has left a monument of </p>
+<p class="poetry">custom to keep its memory green. The practice of forming a line and </p>
+<p class="poetry">shaking the President’s hand had no other origin, and when that great </p>
+<p class="poetry">dignitary bestows his healing salutation on</p>
+<p class="poetry">strangely visited people,</p>
+<p class="poetry">All swoln and ulcerous, pitiful to the eye,</p>
+<p class="poetry">The mere despair of surgery,</p>
+<p class="poetry">he and his patients are handing along an extinguished torch which once was kindled at the
+altar-fire of a faith long held by all classes of men. It is a beautiful and
+edifying “survival”—one which brings the sainted past close home in our “business and bosoms.”</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">kiss</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A word
+invented by the poets as a rhyme for “bliss.” It is supposed to signify, in a
+general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good
+understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">kleptomaniac</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
+rich thief.</p>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">knight</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span></p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<p class="poetry">Once a warrior gentle of birth,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Then a person of civic worth,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Now a fellow to move our mirth.</p>
+<p class="poetry">Warrior, person, and fellow—no more:</p>
+<p class="poetry">We must knight our dogs to get any lower.</p>
+<p class="poetry">Brave Knights Kennelers then shall be,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Noble Knights of the Golden Flea,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Knights of the Order of St. Steboy,</p>
+<p class="poetry">Knights of St. Gorge and Sir Knights Jawy.</p>
+<p class="poetry">God speed the day when this knighting fad</p>
+<p class="poetry">Shall go to the dogs and the dogs go mad.</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="entry"><span class="def">Koran</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A book
+which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine
+inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory
+to the Holy Scriptures.</p>
+
+</body>    
+</html>
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