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diff --git a/lib/ebooks/devils/C.html b/lib/ebooks/devils/C.html new file mode 100644 index 00000000..3c679342 --- /dev/null +++ b/lib/ebooks/devils/C.html @@ -0,0 +1,528 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "+//ISBN 0-9673008-1-9//DTD OEB 1.0 Document//EN" + "http://openebook.org/dtds/oeb-1.0/oebdoc1.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/x-oeb1-document; charset=utf-8" /> +<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/x-oeb1-css" href="devil.css" /> +<title>The Devil’s Dictionary: C</title> +</head> + +<body lang="en-us"> + +<h1>C</h1> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Caaba,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A large stone +presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The +patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cabbage,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A familiar +kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.</p> + +<p class="indentpara">The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince who on ascending +the throne issued a decree appointing a High Council of Empire consisting of the members of his +predecessor’s Ministry and the cabbages in the royal garden. When any of his Majesty’s measures +of state policy miscarried conspicuously it was gravely announced that several members +of the High Council had been beheaded, and his murmuring subjects were appeased.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">calamity,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A more than commonly +plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are +of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">callous,</span> <span class="pos">adj.</span> Gifted with great +fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.</p> + +<p class="indentpara">When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to +be deeply moved. “What!” said one of his disciples, “you weep at the death of an +enemy?” “Ah, ’tis true,” +replied the great Stoic; “but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.”</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">calumnus,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A graduate of the School +for Scandal.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">camel,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A quadruped (the <i>Splaypes +humpidorsus</i>) of great value to the show business. There are two kinds of camels—the camel proper and +the camel improper. It is the latter that is always exhibited.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cannibal,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A gastronome of the old +school who preserves the simple tastes and adheres to the natural diet of the pre-pork period.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cannon,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> An instrument employed +in the rectification of national boundaries.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">canonicals,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The motley worm by +Jesters of the Court of Heaven.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">capital,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The seat of misgovernment. +That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the +part of the repast that himself supplies is the disgrace before meat. <i>Capital Punishment</i>, a penalty +regarding the justice and expediency of which many worthy persons—including all the assassins—entertain +grave misgivings.</p> + +<p class="entry" id="carmelite"><span class="def">carmelite,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A mendicant friar of +the order of Mount Carmel.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">As Death was a-rising out one day,</p> +<p class="po">Across Mount Camel he took his way,</p> +<p class="poind1">Where he met a mendicant monk,</p> +<p class="poind1">Some three or four quarters drunk,</p> +<p class="po">With a holy leer and a pious grin,</p> +<p class="po">Ragged and fat and as saucy as sin,</p> +<p class="poind1">Who held out his hands and cried:</p> +<p class="po">“Give, give in Charity’s name, I pray.</p> +<p class="po">Give in the name of the Church. O give,</p> +<p class="po">Give that her holy sons may live!”</p> +<p class="poind1">And Death replied,</p> +<p class="poind1">Smiling long and wide:</p> +<p class="poind1">“I’ll give, holy father, I’ll give thee—a ride.”</p> +</td></tr> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="poind1">With a rattle and bang</p> +<p class="poind1">Of his bones, he sprang</p> +<p class="po">From his famous Pale Horse, with his spear;</p> +<p class="poind1">By the neck and the foot</p> +<p class="poind1">Seized the fellow, and put</p> +<p class="po">Him astride with his face to the rear.</p> +</td></tr> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">The Monarch laughed loud with a sound that fell</p> +<p class="po">Like clods on the coffin’s sounding shell:</p> +<p class="po">“Ho, ho! A beggar on horseback, they say,</p> +<p class="poind1">Will ride to the devil!”—and thump</p> +<p class="poind1">Fell the flat of his dart on the rump</p> +<p class="po">Of the charger, which galloped away.</p> +</td></tr> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">Faster and faster and faster it flew,</p> +<p class="po">Till the rocks and the flocks and the trees that grew</p> +<p class="po">By the road were dim and blended and blue</p> +<p class="poind1">To the wild, wild eyes</p> +<p class="poind1">Of the rider—in size</p> +</td></tr> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="poind1">Resembling a couple of blackberry pies.</p> +<p class="po">Death laughed again, as a tomb might laugh</p> +<p class="poind1">At a burial service spoiled,</p> +<p class="poind1">And the mourners’ intentions foiled</p> +<p class="poind1">By the body erecting</p> +<p class="poind1">Its head and objecting</p> +<p class="po">To further proceedings in its behalf.</p> +</td></tr> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="poind1">Resembling a couple of blackberry pies.</p> +<p class="po">Death laughed again, as a tomb might laugh</p> +<p class="poind1">At a burial service spoiled,</p> +<p class="poind1">And the mourners’ intentions foiled</p> +<p class="poind1">By the body erecting</p> +<p class="poind1">Its head and objecting</p> +<p class="po">To further proceedings in its behalf.</p> +</td></tr> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">Many a year and many a day</p> +<p class="po">Have passed since these events away.</p> +<p class="po">The monk has long been a dusty corse,</p> +<p class="po">And Death has never recovered his horse.</p> +<p class="poind1">For the friar got hold of its tail,</p> +<p class="poind1">And steered it within the pale</p> +<p class="po">Of the monastery gray,</p> +<p class="po">Where the beast was stabled and fed</p> +<p class="po">With barley and oil and bread</p> +<p class="po">Till fatter it grew than the fattest friar,</p> +<p class="po">And so in due course was appointed Prior.</p> +<p class="citeauth">G. J.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">carnivorous,</span> <span class="pos">adj.</span> Addicted to the +cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cartesian,</span> <span class="pos">adj.</span> Relating to Descartes, +a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, <span xml:lang="la"><i>Cogito ergo sum</i></span>—whereby +he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, +however, thus: <i>Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum</i>—“I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;” as +close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cat,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A soft, indestructible automaton +provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">This is a dog,</p> +<p class="poind1">This is a cat.</p> +<p class="po">This is a frog,</p> +<p class="poind1">This is a rat.</p> +<p class="po">Run, dog, mew, cat.</p> +<p class="po">Jump, frog, gnaw, rat.</p> +<p class="citeauth">Elevenson.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">caviler,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A critic of our own work.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cemetery,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> An isolated suburban +spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. The +inscriptions following will serve to illustrate the success attained in these Olympian games:</p> + +<p class="quote">His virtues were so conspicuous that his enemies, unable to overlook them, denied +them, and his friends, to whose loose lives they were a rebuke, represented them as vices. They are +here commemorated by his family, who shared them.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">In the earth we here prepare a</p> +<p class="po">Place to lay our little Clara.</p> +<p class="citepoet">Thomas M. and Mary Frazer</p> +<p class="po">P.S.—Gabriel will raise her.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">centaur,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> One of a race of +persons who lived before the division of labor had been carried to such a pitch of differentiation, and +who followed the primitive economic maxim, “Every man his own horse.” The best of the lot was Chiron, +who to the wisdom and virtues of the horse added the fleetness of man. The scripture story of the head +of John the Baptist on a charger shows that pagan myths have somewhat sophisticated sacred history.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Cerberus,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The watch-dog of +Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance—against whom or what does not clearly appear; +everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance. Cerberus +is known to have had three heads, and some of the poets have credited him with as many as a hundred. +Professor Graybill, whose clerky erudition and profound knowledge of Greek give his opinion great weight, +has averaged all the estimates, and makes the number twenty-seven—a judgment that would be entirely +conclusive is Professor Graybill had known (<i>a</i>) something about dogs, and (<i>b</i>) something about +arithmetic.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">childhood,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The period of human +life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth—two removes from the sin of +manhood and three from the remorse of age.</p> + +<p id="christian" class="entry"><span class="def">Christian,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> One who believes that +the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One +who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">I dreamed I stood upon a hill, and, lo!</p> +<p class="po">The godly multitudes walked to and fro</p> +<p class="po">Beneath, in Sabbath garments fitly clad,</p> +<p class="po">With pious mien, appropriately sad,</p> +<p class="po">While all the church bells made a solemn din—</p> +<p class="po">A fire-alarm to those who lived in sin.</p> +<p class="po">Then saw I gazing thoughtfully below,</p> +<p class="po">With tranquil face, upon that holy show</p> +<p class="po">A tall, spare figure in a robe of white,</p> +<p class="po">Whose eyes diffused a melancholy light.</p> +<p class="po">“God keep you, strange,” I exclaimed. “You are</p> +<p class="po">No doubt (your habit shows it) from afar;</p> +<p class="po">And yet I entertain the hope that you,</p> +<p class="po">Like these good people, are a Christian too.”</p> +<p class="po">He raised his eyes and with a look so stern</p> +<p class="po">It made me with a thousand blushes burn</p> +<p class="po">Replied—his manner with disdain was spiced:</p> +<p class="po">“What! I a Christian? No, indeed! I’m Christ.”</p> +<p class="citeauth">G. J.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">circus,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A place where horses, +ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">clairvoyant,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A person, commonly +a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">clarionet,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> An instrument of torture +operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments that are worse than a clarionet—two +clarionets.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">clergyman,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A man who undertakes +the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Clio,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> One of the nine Muses. Clio’s +function was to preside over history—which she did with great dignity, many of the prominent citizens of +Athens occupying seats on the platform, the meetings being addressed by Messrs. Xenophon, Herodotus and +other popular speakers.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">clock,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A machine of great moral +value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">A busy man complained one day:</p> +<p class="po">“I get no time!” “What’s that you say?”</p> +<p class="po">Cried out his friend, a lazy quiz;</p> +<p class="po">“You have, sir, all the time there is.</p> +<p class="po">There’s plenty, too, and don’t you doubt it—</p> +<p class="po">We’re never for an hour without it.”</p> +<p class="citeauth">Purzil Crofe.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">close-fisted,</span> <span class="pos">adj.</span> Unduly desirous +of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">“Close-fisted Scotchman!” Johnson cried</p> +<p class="poind1">To thrifty J. Macpherson;</p> +<p class="po">“See me—I’m ready to divide</p> +<p class="poind1">With any worthy person.”</p> +<p class="po">Sad Jamie: “That is very true—</p> +<p class="poind1">The boast requires no backing;</p> +<p class="po">And all are worthy, sir, to you,</p> +<p class="poind1">Who have what you are lacking.”</p> +<p class="citeauth">Anita M. Bobe.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cœnobite,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A man who piously +shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness; and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood +of awful examples.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">O Cœnobite, O cœnobite,</p> +<p class="poind1">Monastical gregarian,</p> +<p class="po">You differ from the anchorite,</p> +<p class="poind1">That solitudinarian:</p> +<p class="po">With vollied prayers you wound Old Nick;</p> +<p class="po">With dropping shots he makes him sick.</p> +<p class="citeauth">Quincy Giles.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">comfort,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A state of mind +produced by contemplation of a neighbor’s uneasiness.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">commendation,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The tribute +that we pay to achievements that resembles, but do not equal, our own.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">commerce,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A kind of +transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D +of money belonging to E.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">commonwealth,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> An administrative +entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasites, logically active but fortuitously efficient.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">This commonwealth’s capitol’s corridors view,</p> +<p class="po">So thronged with a hungry and indolent crew</p> +<p class="po">Of clerks, pages, porters and all attaches</p> +<p class="po">Whom rascals appoint and the populace pays</p> +<p class="po">That a cat cannot slip through the thicket of shins</p> +<p class="po">Nor hear its own shriek for the noise of their chins.</p> +<p class="po">On clerks and on pages, and porters, and all,</p> +<p class="po">Misfortune attend and disaster befall!</p> +<p class="po">May life be to them a succession of hurts;</p> +<p class="po">May fleas by the bushel inhabit their shirts;</p> +<p class="po">May aches and diseases encamp in their bones,</p> +<p class="po">Their lungs full of tubercles, bladders of stones;</p> +<p class="po">May microbes, bacilli, their tissues infest,</p> +<p class="po">And tapeworms securely their bowels digest;</p> +<p class="po">May corn-cobs be snared without hope in their hair,</p> +<p class="po">And frequent impalement their pleasure impair.</p> +<p class="po">Disturbed be their dreams by the awful discourse</p> +<p class="po">Of audible sofas sepulchrally hoarse,</p> +<p class="po">By chairs acrobatic and wavering floors—</p> +<p class="po">The mattress that kicks and the pillow that snores!</p> +<p class="po">Sons of cupidity, cradled in sin!</p> +<p class="po">Your criminal ranks may the death angel thin,</p> +<p class="po">Avenging the friend whom I couldn’t work in.</p> +<p class="citeauth">K. Q.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">compromise,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> Such an adjustment +of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not +to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">compulsion,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The eloquence of power.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">condole,</span> <span class="pos">v.i.</span> To show that bereavement +is a smaller evil than sympathy.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">confidant,</span> <span class="def">confidante,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> One +entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided by <i>him </i>to C.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">congratulation,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The civility of envy.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">congress,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A body of men who meet to repeal laws.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">connoisseur,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A specialist who knows everything +about something and nothing about anything else.</p> + +<p class="indentpara">An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was pouted on his lips to +revive him. “Pauillac, 1873,” he murmured and died.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">conservative,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A statesman who is enamored of +existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them +with others.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">consolation,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The knowledge that a better man is +more unfortunate than yourself.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">consul,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> In American politics, a person who having +failed to secure and office from the people is given one by the Administration +on condition that he leave the country.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">consult,</span> <span class="pos">v.i.</span> To seek another’s disapproval of a course already decided on.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">contempt,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">controversy,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A battle in which spittle or ink replaces the injurious cannon-ball and the inconsiderate bayonet.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">In controversy with the facile tongue—</p> +<p class="po">That bloodless warfare of the old and young—</p> +<p class="po">So seek your adversary to engage</p> +<p class="po">That on himself he shall exhaust his rage,</p> +<p class="po">And, like a snake that’s fastened to the ground,</p> +<p class="po">With his own fangs inflict the fatal wound.</p> +<p class="po">You ask me how this miracle is done?</p> +<p class="po">Adopt his own opinions, one by one,</p> +<p class="po">And taunt him to refute them; in his wrath</p> +<p class="po">He’ll sweep them pitilessly from his path.</p> +<p class="po">Advance then gently all you wish to prove,</p> +<p class="po">Each proposition prefaced with, “As you’ve</p> +<p class="po">So well remarked,” or, “As you wisely say,</p> +<p class="po">And I cannot dispute,” or, “By the way,</p> +<p class="po">This view of it which, better far expressed,</p> +<p class="po">Runs through your argument.” Then leave the rest</p> +<p class="po">To him, secure that he’ll perform his trust</p> +<p class="po">And prove your views intelligent and just.</p> +<p class="citeauth">Conmore Apel Brune.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">convent,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A place of retirement for woman who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">conversation,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A fair to the display of the minor +mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his +own wares to observe those of his neighbor.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">coronation,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The ceremony of investing a +sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown +skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">corporal,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A man who occupies the lowest rung of the military ladder.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">Fiercely the battle raged and, sad to tell,</p> +<p class="po">Our corporal heroically fell!</p> +<p class="po">Fame from her height looked down upon the brawl</p> +<p class="po">And said: “He hadn’t very far to fall.”</p> +<p class="citeauth">Giacomo Smith.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">corporation,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Corsair,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A politician of the seas.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">court fool,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The plaintiff.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">coward,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">crayfish,</span> n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.</p> + +<p class="quote">In this small fish I take it that human wisdom is admirably figured and symbolized; for whereas +the crayfish doth move only backward, and can have only retrospection, seeing +naught but the perils already passed, so the wisdom of man doth not enable him +to avoid the follies that beset his course, but only to apprehend their nature afterward.—<i>Sir James Merivale</i></p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">creditor,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Cremona,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A high-priced violin made in Connecticut.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">critic,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A person who boasts himself hard to please +because nobody tries to please him.</p> + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">There is a land of pure delight,</p> +<p class="poind1">Beyond the Jordan’s flood,</p> +<p class="po">Where saints, apparelled all in white,</p> +<p class="poind1">Fling back the critic’s mud.</p> +</td></tr> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">And as he legs it through the skies,</p> +<p class="poind1">His pelt a sable hue,</p> +<p class="po">He sorrows sore to recognize</p> +<p class="poind1">The missiles that he threw.</p> +<p class="citeauth">Orrin Goof.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cross,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> An ancient religious symbol erroneously +supposed to owe its significance to the most solemn event in the history of +Christianity, but really antedating it by thousands of years. By many it has been believed to be identical +with the <span xml:lang="la"><i>crux ansata</i></span> of the +ancient phallic worship, but it has been traced even beyond all that we know of +that, to the rites of primitive peoples. We have to-day the White Cross as a symbol of chastity, and the Red +Cross as a badge of benevolent neutrality in war. Having in mind the former, the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape +smites the lyre to the effect following:</p> + + +<table class="poem"> +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">“Be good, be good!” the sisterhood</p> +<p class="poind1">Cry out in holy chorus,</p> +<p class="po">And, to dissuade from sin, parade</p> +<p class="poind1">Their various charms before us.</p> +</td></tr> + +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">But why, O why, has ne’er an eye</p> +<p class="poind1">Seen her of winsome manner</p> +<p class="po">And youthful grace and pretty face</p> +<p class="poind1">Flaunting the White Cross banner?</p> +</td></tr> + +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">Now where’s the need of speech and screed</p> +<p class="poind1">To better our behaving?</p> +<p class="po">A simpler plan for saving man</p> +<p class="poind1">(But, first, is he worth saving?)</p> +</td></tr> + +<tr><td class="poem"> +<p class="po">Is, dears, when he declines to flee</p> +<p class="poind1">From bad thoughts that beset him,</p> +<p class="po">Ignores the Law as ’t were a straw,</p> +<p class="poind1">And wants to sin—don’t let him.</p> +</td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def" lang="la">Cui Bono?</span> (Latin). What good would that do <i>me</i>?</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cunning,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The faculty that distinguishes +a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material +adversity. An Italian proverb says: “The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.”</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">Cupid,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> The so-called god of love. This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy +was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its deities. Of all unbeautiful and inappropriate +conceptions this is the most reasonless and offensive. The notion of symbolizing sexual love by a +semisexless babe, and comparing the pains of passion to the wounds of an +arrow—of introducing this pudgy homunculus into art grossly to materialize the +subtle spirit and suggestion of the work—this is eminently worthy of the age +that, giving it birth, laid it on the doorstep of prosperity.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">curiosity,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> An objectionable quality of the female +mind. The desire to know whether or not +a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable +passions of the masculine soul.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">curse,</span> <span class="pos">v.t.</span> Energetically to belabor with a verbal +slap-stick. This is an operation which +in literature, particularly in the drama, is commonly fatal to the victim. Nevertheless, the liability to a cursing is +a risk that cuts but a small figure in fixing the rates of life insurance.</p> + +<p class="entry"><span class="def">cynic,</span> <span class="pos">n.</span> A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things +as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic’s eyes to +improve his vision.</p> + +</body> +</html>
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